Adoptive families often send these regularly, without any concern and birth families are advised to share them only with their immediate family. Photographs – as you would expect, photographs are especially valued and appreciated by birth relatives.If you are writing to more than one birth relative, you may choose to do one letter which can be copied and you can then write the names in afterwards Birth relatives always prefer a personalised letter.
#Letterbox org how to#
Think about how to address a newsletter.If you have met your child’s birth relatives it is much easier to address a letter directly, such as ‘Dear Sandy’ and to sign your first name at the end.Please avoid referring to yourselves as Mummy/Daddy in letters as this can cause anguish for birth parents who will have been advised to use their first names.Be aware that some birth parents may misinterpret information particularly if they were opposed to the care plan for adoption.Be sensitive to the fact that the birth parents situation may be very different to your own.Anecdotes about your child’s habits or reactions.Any recent holidays or special events you have enjoyed.Your child’s progress at school, including friendships.Comments from birth parents show that they particularly appreciate knowing something of the following… However, the areas to cover in a newsletter are whatever you think is likely to help a birth parent or relative keep in touch with your child’s progress and to help them to be reassured that the child is well cared for. Most adoptive parents find there is a great deal to say about their child. Most birth relatives, whatever their circumstances or past actions, value receiving information about the child’s progress and like to learn about how a child is progressing at school, their health and how they are developing. While much of the information exchanged is positive and reassuring, there may be times when the information to be exchanged is difficult, perhaps painful.
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How much information is shared with the child, and when it is shared, are decisions made by the adoptive parents.
#Letterbox org update#
Information given to adoptive parents at the time of the adoption can quickly become out of date and they may appreciate being able to update their knowledge as time goes on using the information from Letterbox. It is also a source of information that can assist adoptive parents for example, if a birth parent developed a health problem that may have implications for the adopted child. In many cases, an adopted child may have brothers and sisters living elsewhere and if direct meetings aren’t appropriate, the Letterbox service is an important way of staying in touch. At first, people who are adopting a child often feel some anxiety about their own security when considering the Letterbox service but they need to consider the potential benefits to their child in the longer term and to most adoptive parents, anything that benefits their child’s long-term sense of identity and emotional health is welcomed. This indirect written contact is now a well-established feature of adoption. It is an excellent way of helping children whose lives have been disrupted to maintain a coherent sense of themselves and to develop an integrated sense of identity which is very important to their long-term health. The exchange of news using the Letterbox service helps to reduce this sense of loss and confusion. In more and more cases, children adopted nowadays will have memories of their birth families and a sense of some connection to them whatever the reasons for becoming adopted. These factors and the knowledge that birth parents frequently feel unresolved anguish and concern have led to a belief that greater openness between birth families and adoptive families can help everyone. Why have a Letterbox service?Īdopted people can also feel upset by learning much later in life that they have brothers or sisters born to their own birth parents or they can be concerned by not knowing what happened to their birth parents over the years. If agreed, return news from birth relatives will be sent in reply to your news.
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This news is then sent on to the agreed birth relatives. This may be once or twice a year, occasionally more often.
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At agreed times each year, adoptive parents send in a progress report or newsletter about their adopted child, often with a photograph, for the attention of the Letterbox service. Once the arrangements for news-sharing via the Letterbox Service have been agreed, a clear statement of these arrangements is sent to both or all parties for confirmation. Most arrangements are voluntary and represent an undertaking made in good faith by the parties. The arrangements for this service are agreed before the child joins you, put in writing and signed by all concerned.